


Mrs and Mr Pond

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Banter, Community: avengerkink, Crossover, Gen, commentfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 21:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Coulson and a couple of the Avengers are sent to pick up a pair of civilians to act as consultants in a matter SHIELD is currently investigating. Things don't go exactly as they expect.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>“So, you’re telling me these so-called ‘alien experts’ we’re picking up are a famous British model and a male nurse?” Stark demanded, as they drove.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Mrs and Mr Pond

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a [prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/15292.html?thread=32660668#t32660668) at Avengerkink which gave me the giggles.

“So, you’re telling me these so-called ‘alien experts’ we’re picking up are a famous British model and a _male nurse?_ ” Stark demanded, as they drove.

“That’s correct,” Coulson replied. Stark had insisted on coming along for the pickup, and Dr Banner had volunteered himself to come along as Stark’s chaperone, on the grounds that Stark had an amazing ability to alienate people meeting him for the first time, and no one wanted this meeting to go badly.

“Uh-huh. And you got these people from where, exactly? The alien-expert discount store?”

Coulson was regretting that he hadn’t just tasered Stark and left him behind in New York. It would have been worth the fuss it would have caused.

“They were recommended to us by one of our sister agencies,” he said evenly. “Mr and Mrs Williams are supposed to be very good at what they do, if unorthodox, and are unaffiliated with any particular organisation.”

“Sir,” their driver spoke up, before Stark could continue the argument. “We’re here.”

To Coulson’s relief, Stark shut up as they pulled up in front of a rather nice house with a very expensive-looking sports car in the driveway.

“Whoah,” said Stark, peering out the window with interest, eyebrows rising. “Is that an E-type? How popular is Mrs Williams, anyway?”

Coulson ignored the question, getting out of the car and walking up to the front door to ring the doorbell. Dr Banner joined him a moment later, Stark sauntering up behind them.

The door opened, and a very pretty red-headed young woman blinked out at them. Amelia Williams. 

Coulson smiled at her.

“Mrs Williams. May we come in?”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Coulson couldn’t blame her.

“Why?”

“My name is Agent Coulson, and I work for an organisation named SHIELD–”

“Right.” She cut him off. “Just give us ten minutes, yeah? Come in, just be careful of the rug, it sort of sticks up, Rory’s always falling over it.”

Coulson and the two Avengers followed her into the house, a little taken aback as she walked away from them without even asking why they were here.

“Rory!” the young woman bellowed up the stairs. “There’s a secretive organisation that wants to borrow us for a bit!”

“It’s not Torchwood again, is it?” a male voice called out.

“No! I think they’re American,” she called back, and vanished through the nearest doorway, leaving Coulson and the Avengers standing alone in the hall. 

This wasn’t how the procedure usually went. Coulson felt a little at a loss.

A moment later a slightly-built young man clattered down the stairs and approached Coulson without hesitation.

“Where we’re going,” he said without preamble. “Is it going to be dangerous?”

“It shouldn’t be,” Coulson told him politely. “We’d just like the two of you to consult on a matter we’re investigating. There shouldn’t be any danger at all. Completely safe.”

The young man nodded.

“Right, life-threatening danger, then.” 

Before Coulson could refute him, he turned back towards the main part of the house.

“Amy!” he yelled. “I’m going to wear my armour!”

_ Armour? _

“Armour?” Stark repeated, unknowingly voicing Coulson’s own thought.

The young woman appeared in the doorway. She’d swapped her sandals for a pair of socks and running shoes.

“What? Babe, everyone always thinks the armour looks ridiculous. Don’t wear the armour. We’re not going into danger, are we?” she asked Coulson.

“Not at all,” Coulson assured her.

“See? It’s fine.” She disappeared back through the doorway again.

Her husband yelled after her,

“ _You know that only means it’s going to turn out really dangerous and no one saw it coming!_ ” He let out a frustrated huff, and turned back to Coulson with an expression of determination. “I’m _wearing_ the armour.”

With that declaration he went back upstairs.

His wife reappeared in the hall a moment later, wearing a light backpack.

“Where’s Rory?” She went on before anyone could answer her question. “Let me guess, he’s gone to put on the armour.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, I suppose it’s not really a bad idea. Don’t tell him, but he’s right. The things that _seem_ harmless always turn out to be the worst.”

“I’m going to assume you’ve done this sort of thing before,” Dr Banner said slowly.

The woman made a _pffft_ sound.

“What, getting called in at the drop of a hat to help save the world? It’s kind of a thing, with us.”

“Uh, and how do a model, and a _male nurse_ end up involved in world-saving shenanigans?” Stark asked pointedly.

The woman grinned impishly, and looked like she was about to answer when there was a _clank_ of metal from the top of the stairs, and everyone turned to see the young man from before.

He was wearing ancient Roman armour, the helmet tucked under one arm, a short sword sheathed at his side.

“We ready?” the man asked his wife as he walked down the stairs. The armour didn’t appear to be fancy dress or even a reproduction: it looked too _practical_ to be anything but real. The young man moved in it as though he’d worn armour all his life.

“Yup,” the young woman said cheerfully, turning to show him the backpack she was wearing. “And I made sure all the lights and appliances were off, in case.”

“Phone?” her husband questioned.

“And Himself on speed-dial,” she confirmed.

Coulson wondered who ‘Himself’ was.

“Okay.” The young man’s expression suggested that he was preparing himself to do battle, rather than a simply consulting job. His expression of resolve rivalled Steve Rogers.’ “Let’s go.”

The couple turned to Coulson and the Avengers expectantly.

Coulson had a sudden, very strong feeling that he and the Avengers – even SHIELD – had no idea what they’d just gotten involved with.

Story of his life.

 

 

 

  
 

**Author's Note:**

> RTYI - if you liked this, then you will probably like [this fic. ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/344392/chapters/558778)
> 
> ETA: There are some extra snippets of this story [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/888177/chapters/1851105).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Strike Team Pond (the lost in time remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560020) by [purple_cube](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_cube/pseuds/purple_cube)




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